Ok, I can’t deny it, I’m terrible at posting reguarly, but it just seems like time goes by faster and faster each year – before you know it I’ll be having to change this blogs name to …thirtysomethingandfiguringoutwheretimehasgone.
Well, the good news is there has been plenty of getting to know myself and my passions throughout the year, and taking risks – I still can’t be certain about where my life is going but I’m definitely more motivated and ready to see what happens!
I have made a few changes to the way I think and interact during these last months and it has paid off. I may even have found the right career (after spending many years focused on the hospitality world) I took a leap into the Real Estate market and I can’t lie – I’m loving each and every moment.
Whereas me, I’ve become a more open, social and self-confident person who now is not scared in taking risks – I’ve learned to love, be loved, lose people, gain friendships, earn values and most importantly be happy. Life will always have its ups and downs, it’s how we deal with them that makes us who we are.
So now, it’s time to start writing again (let’s see how long it lasts this time!) and keep on enjoying my lifelong passion of photography with my new purchase (thank you Black Friday…) Nikon Camera – keep a look out for my pictures!
Why is it always a let down?
Being the festive season that it is, I decided to take a plunge in my personal life, one that I normally wouldn’t have done, but made me feel stronger at the time (not so much anymore!).
You know when you think you want something, you go out of your comfort zone, you get closer and closer to it, you start convincing yourself that maybe you do deserve that one thing, and then you get it; you get it, and you are suddenly wondering is that what you really wanted or is it what you thought was what you should want? I’m not going to go into detail, but something along these lines happened to me. I should have been ecstatic, it was what most people would have wanted, however I just wasn’t feeling it. I thought maybe it was because I was scared to allow myself to enjoy these kind of things, but no, I simply believe I am just not that kind of person, or at least not yet anyway.
But then I tried to convince myself to let it happen, to enjoy it, to not be scared and to let my guard down. And what happens? Once again I get hurt, no explanation, no closure as always. Or maybe I didn’t get hurt or lose it, but simply became a different person and certain things affected me in a way that they normally wouldn’t have due to past experiences and insecurities.
So why is it that I constantly try and convince myself that it’s not what I want, but then when I have it and lose it I feel like it’s the only thing I ever wanted? I’m a headstrong person, with my ideas pretty clear – yet I’m somehow indecisive. I know this is incompatible, however this is what I am – complicated, complicated but ME!